1. |
Emperor
05:47
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2. |
Alaska
13:59
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Is it sad that I feel comfortable in this hospital? It starts with one moment that leads to another and then another. One bad decision that sends you spiraling out of control. The Percocet prescribed to heal me ended up being what I needed to survive. It gave me false hope and a sense of security. One pill turned into 2, into 3. Soon enough I would become numb, but in reality I was becoming just as empty as the void in my womb. The pills kept coming, and I kept taking: the only thing holding
me together. I thought I had hit rock bottom, but I was far from it.
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3. |
Westerlies
16:28
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She thought she was the only one affected by it. She pushed everyone away: her friends, her family, me… She didn’t even notice we were all gone. She was too subdued by her delusional dreams and drug addiction to look up and see she was alone. She may still be alive, but she is lost to me. She is an empty glass that can never be filled again. Lost on the shelf, waiting to be remembered and thrown away. One loss was enough for me, and as she fell, each drink became so much easier to swallow.
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4. |
Lune Fille
06:17
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The drugs may be gone, but the void was still there. There is always a way to fill up the cavity. The question is whether you are making it worse or healing it. After my release, the scalpel found its way to my skin again. Etching its marks into my body as a constant reminder. Most nights ended with sirens, and the floorboards soaking wet. My days were numbered. The more I tried to console myself the more blood was spilled. Did I want the attention? Did I want to be saved? No. What I wanted was the sick comfort this new pain provided. It provided me a new home. It gave a means to justify the end.
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5. |
The Maw
15:38
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The white sterile walls, an uncomfortable hospital bed. The scars covering my body, the gnawing pain of chains, the burns on my ankles and wrists barely register anymore. I can’t move, and I am forced to deal with reality. I am like the house I once lived in, empty and barely standing. I didn’t want to be here, but I didn’t feel trapped in this hospital: I was trapped in my own thoughts. Screaming and clawing trying to find my way back but I was too far-gone. I have been devoid of hope and I have had no plan on coming back. Maybe….
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6. |
Empress
03:49
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Springfield Denver, Colorado
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